I love it so much that if I could actually physically embrace my inner slut I would really enjoy slipping in a finger or two while I was at it.

And since we’re already on the subject of things slipping in…this summer I’ve discovered two new sides to my sexuality. Woohooo!

First of all I’ve found out that I’m a little bit extremer than I thought I was when it comes to my sexual appetites and desires. To put it in less vague terms: I want to get fisted. And it’s not something I’ve been consciously initiating myself either. Multiple one-night stands and ‘friends with benefits’ have tried taking me there on their own accord and to my surprise my inner slut didn’t resist at all. Had you told me this a year ago I would have been shocked – possibly even disgusted. These days it kinda turns me on and the same goes for my inner fashionista (I have one of those too) who really digs the colour red this season.

Secondly – and this is quite a step for me – I’m considering taking PrEP. As I wrote last issue in my column about respecting your partner’s sexual wishes and limits the fear of HIV has been with me since I was a teenager and so the idea of fucking and not constantly having to worry about getting infected is very appealing. Not just to me, but also to my fiancée. That’s why we decided to go to a workshop on PrEP together recently, which was very enlightening, and I encourage anyone to get informed on the subject – even if you are not planning on taking it as your preferred prophylactic.

Interviewing Richard Keldoulis – the co-owner of fetish club Club Church in Amsterdam and an expert on the subject – gave me hope for the future. He thinks the end of the AIDS era is finally upon us, because of PrEP and HIV medication and it might even ring in a new sexual revolution. The final trigger to consider taking this step was the news that Dutch health insurance will start covering PrEP for the coming five years, which will make it available to/affordable for most gay men in The Netherlands.

All of this doesn’t mean my inner slut and I are striving to be professional cum-dumps or that I’m rejecting the idea of using condoms for all eternity and beyond. I’m well aware of all the other STDs and STIs out there and the nasty effects they can have on you.

It does mean I can sometimes choose not to use a condom without completely freaking out afterwards and that’s not just a comforting thought, but a luxury I’ve never had in the 20 years that I have been sexually active.

It means I will feel safer having sex in general and to me that is the real progress and a sexual evolution that I never saw coming!