The One With the Epic ‘Chill’

WATCH OUT, WORLD AND LOCK UP YOUR SONS BECAUSE I’M SINGLE, YOUNG AND READY TO MINGLE. IN MY NEW SERIES, I INVITE YOU TO CUM ALONG WITH ME AS I EAGERLY EXPLORE AND EXPERIENCE THE WONDERS OF AN ACTIVE SEX LIFE. BUCKLE UP AND GET READY TO ASSUME THE POSITION, DODGE COMMITMENT AND BOUNCE FROM ONE SEXCAPADE TO THE NEXT. 

It was 4 am, and the house party was slowly dwindling. The way-out-of-my-league Swede I had been crushing on had somehow up and vanished, and the bottles of spirits were nearing their last shot. I, however, was far from coming down. Horny and frustrated as I got ready to leave, I opened Grindr. ‘XL Top *Eyes Emoji* Chill’ had just invited me to join him and about fifteen other incredibly hot guys for a sex party nearby. Score! 

Lesson Learnt #1: If you feel like you never get asked to these things – Set an alarm and open Grindr at around 5 am. I’ve found that many of these things aren’t super pre-planned, and invites will only start flooding in late into the night. 

After checking for the fourth time that I had the correct house number, I rang the bell and was buzzed in. The naked and sweaty host greeted me at the door with a shot and a coat-hanger for my clothes. In a very practised manner, he gave me the rundown of the house—the ground floor was where I could get a drink, smoke and talk. It was also the floor with the ‘regular’ toilet. With the thumping circuit music and muffled moans, the second floor was where the main communal action took place. The third floor, my favourite of all, had a sex dungeon, two private bedrooms and, last but not least, the ‘douching’ toilet. 

Lesson Learnt #2: There is no shame in douching at a sex party. That said, do what you can to avoid it because, as I learned, it can be pretty awkward when three other hungry bottoms are waiting their turn right outside. Read more douching tips here. 

 

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With my ass now all clean, I wandered down to the second floor and found a spot on the couch close enough to the action that others would know I was ready to play. Within seconds, I felt my ass being spread and someone’s warm tongue beginning to rim me. Someone else stood in front of me and teased open my mouth with his fingers and then started feeding me his cock. A third and fourth guy came over and started jerking off. The cute bottom to my right, who was being pounded mercilessly, turned towards me and gave me a cheeky wink. I was in paradise. I didn’t know any of these guys, and they didn’t know me. All I knew was that I wanted their cocks, and they wanted my ass. 

Lesson Learnt #3: Never be so caught up in the moment that you neglect your own health and safety. I was on PrEP, so I could relax and not worry about using condoms. If you are not on PrEP, stop your partner(s) and ask them to wear protection. There’s an unspoken expectation that everyone will be looking out for themselves. 

Finally, I made it up to the third floor and into the dungeon. Sure, the stench of sweat, poppers and ass got stronger, but the sex responsible for the smell got ten times hotter! You lose some; you win some. C’est la vie. A tatted and bearded daddy slapped me across the face, pushed me onto the sling, and fucked me rough. I was afraid I was moaning too loud, but no one was bothered by my dramatics, which gave me the ‘OK’ to let go completely. A queue of guys (even the cute bottom) took their turn ramming my hole whilst the spectators cheered them on. Just when I had decided that I couldn’t take any more, I sat up and there, standing between my spread legs, was my Swede from earlier. I smiled. He smiled. I laid back, and he… well, you know what he did! 

Watch this space for more ‘Sexcapades’ stories coming soon, and head over to my Instagram @TheClarkCullen to keep up with the antics. Up next: ‘The One Where I Fucked My Friends’.